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Join me, dear reader, as we spend the next 750 or so words avoiding a surplus of jokes about how Austin Slater and his 37 mph tortoiseball (and two-thirds scoreless innings!) look, at the moment, like the Yankees’ best bullpen bet. We aspire to keep such hilarities to a minimum in the paragraphs to come. 

But we make no promises. 

Because how does the old saying go? We laugh to keep from crying. And the present state of the Yankees bullpen is a crying shame — heavy on the shame — and it has quickly become a point of genuine concern. It’s one thing to have a tough stretch. It’s another to reside inside a fault line. And these past two nights, that is where the Yanks pen hangs its hat. 

“These nights are frustrating, obviously, but it’s that time of year,” Yankees manager Aaron Boone said when this 11-1 pasting was done. “We’ve got to get over it, obviously. They’ve been able to add on late in some close games.”