And I thought this job was tough. … A desperate woman stepped into a Tim Hortons coffee shop in Langley, B.C. and was refused a bathroom key. With no time to lose she put Plan B into effect. Lowered her pants, did what she had to do, picked it up, split-fingered it at the Hortons employee, wiped her bottom with a Hortons napkin then knuckleballed the paper as well. Woman was arrested. Tried calling New York race-rant lawyer Aaron Schlossberg but he was tossed from his Madison Ave. office after his own restaurant altercation. Plan B? Retired NFLer and legendary end-zone party-pooper Randy Moss.

Thank you letters from Kenta Maeda and the Dodger organization. Simply picked against them and they naturally snapped their six-game losing skid, blanking the Fish 7-0. Maeda hurling a two-hitter over eight innings. Marlins’ Caleb Smith was clubbed. Free falling. Down -794 canuckleheads.

Doubling our fun (?) Friday. Dodgers can thank us again with a victory in D.C. Ross Stripling goes against Max Scherzer. 10 units on the Dodgers and 20 units on the Cubs as Kyle Hendricks takes his turn in Cincinnati.