Hondo struck out with the Phillies last night but connected with the Twins, who conquered King Felix of Seattle to lower the IOUs to 1,025 luzinskis.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch will try again with the Phils — 10 units on Cole to provide a sorely needed victory.

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Sources close to the Schwarzeneggers say Arnold desperately tried to save the marriage with a fable about how the love child was conceived, but Maria didn’t buy it. The lechererous former bodybuilder claimed it was just a mixup that came about when he and Mildred the housekeeper happened to be working out in the weight room late one night and accidentally got too close to each other for a few minutes while she was doing free-weight squats as he was doing pull-ups . . . From e-mailer Jim DeAcutis: When Arnold married Maria, most figured he’d turn her into a Republican. Who knew that she’d turn him into a Kennedy? . . . Let’s dole out some HondoNation props and pounds for Jorge Posada, who magnanimously consented to DH last night. hondo@nypost.com