Every now and then, I get to watch movies before they’re released. Sometimes those movies are awesome (“Hot Fuzz”) and sometimes they’re…not (“Aquamarine,” but it was cute).

Yesterday, I went to a screening of “Shoot ‘Em Up,” out Sept. 7, the new action flick starring Clive “Should’ve Been the New Bond” Owen.

They could easily have turned this into a video game, what with all the cartoonish ways people are killed and the unrealistic situations the characters end up in. The lack of a particularly involved storyline would also mean no stupidly long cut scenes to sit through while the game is being set up for you. Anyway.

You have to see this movie because it is two large barrels of monkey fun. First of all, Clive Owen is fantastic. Second of all, the “nun” reveal is just too good to be missed. Third of all, there are some funny one-liners. Fourth of all, everyone dies in a completely original way. Fifth of all, you will never believe the number of ways that a raw carrot can be used to induce death.

And, it’s only 98 minutes long, so you don’t have to sit through dozens of minutes of stupid filler scenes. What’s not to like about this movie???