All aboard the crazy train!

A man in Florida was arrested on his birthday Friday after authorities caught him absconding with a trackless sightseeing train, and even picking up passengers, while high on meth.

Jonathan Patrick Winslow was celebrating his 57th trip around the sun on a raucous Independence Day when he turned up at the Conch Tour Train Depot in Key West and allegedly weaseled his way into conducting one of their vehicles.

Winslow allegedly bamboozled a well-meaning employee into forking over the keys after claiming he used to work at the company years prior and requesting a tour of the train, according to an arrest report obtained by WPLG.

The confused employee was left in the dust when Winslow allegedly sped away, thinking that surely the stranger must’ve had permission to take the train.

He did not have permission to take the train, police said.

Officers responded to the depot when the stolen train was reported. It could be tracked via GPS, but was apparently already downtown.

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Authorities had a general idea of who they were looking for almost immediately, as Winslow had left his Kia still running in the parking lot of the depot blasting rock music, according to an arrest report.

Police were able to nab Winslow and the train was intact. He’d somehow cajoled two oblivious strangers into joining him for the ride, authorities said.

Winslow “exhibited rapid speech and appeared excited” even when police told him about the charges he’d face.

He claimed he only “borrowed” the train, again insisted he used to work for the company and noted that “today is [my] birthday,” according to the report.

Winslow was carted off to the county jail. When he was being searched, a corrections deputy allegedly found a pipe hidden in his pocket.

Winslow tried to insist that it was “a weed pipe,” but authorities said it was a methamphetamine pipe.

The short-lived conductor faces charges for burglary, grand theft auto and possession of drug paraphernalia.

In January, a group of masked teenagers took an empty NYC subway train for a joyride and even posted their entire escapade on Instagram.

Two of the teens, including one with a prior criminal record, were busted in February and charged with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and criminal trespass.