A German tabloid, believing the sky will fall if Great Britain leaves the EU, promised Thursday to provide the villain in every James Bond flick if UK voters reject Brexit.
The tongue-in-cheek bribe was one of several by Berlin-based Bild as Europe faced the specter of Great Britain’s exit from the 28-nation bloc.
One of the most famous Bond baddies was Auric Goldfinger — played by German actor Gert Fröbe — in the 1964 movie “Goldfinger” with 007 Sean Connery.
Other Germans who scared the living daylights out of fans included Gottfried John as Gen. Arkady Ourumov in “GoldenEye” and Walter Gotell as Gen. Anatoly Gogol in six Bond flicks.
As voters in the UK went to the polls Thursday to make the choice that could leave world markets shaken and stirred, Bild dedicated its whole front page to “Dear Brits” and listed a slew of other bribes.
“We’ll stop making jokes about Prince Charles’ ears,” the paper said.
It also vowed to finally acknowledge Geoff Hurst’s disputed goal in England’s 4-2 victory against then-West Germany in the 1966 World Cup final.
German fans have insisted for decades that the ball landed on the line after striking the crossbar without making it inside the goal.
Continuing with soccer, Bild said: “We’ll do without a goalie in penalty shootouts with you to make it more exciting,” poking fun at England’s penchant for choking in soccer tie-breakers.
The rest of the bribes:
- “We’ll send (German national soccer coach) Joachim Low to guard your Crown Jewels.”
- “We’ll come along to the queen’s 100th birthday.”
- “We’ll introduce tea breaks.”
- “We’ll introduce an EU regulation banning a frothy head on beer.”
- “We’ll turn our clocks back an hour to be in synch with you.”
- “We’ll stop using sun cream on the beach out of solidarity with your sunburn.”
