He’s trading bagels for burgers.

Diminutive “Bagel Boss Guy” Chris Morgan was busted for drug possession in Long Island, sparking his latest off-the-rails rant early Tuesday — about the lousy hamburger he was served in police custody.

“One squashed hamburger with no f–king cheese on it!” Morgan, 45, whined as he filmed himself leaving the Suffolk County Police Department’s 3rd Precinct in the early hours Tuesday.

“Not a pickle, not nothing. No ketchup! Nothing,” complained the diminutive Bagel Boss customer who gained viral fame in July for getting roughed up while ranting about women.

“And a coffee with no milk and no f–king sugar — I was losing my s–t,” he continued.

To reinforce the complaint, Morgan — who chickened out of his much-touted weekend celebrity boxing match — tweeted just before 5 a.m., again complaining about his smashed burger.

Suffolk County cops confirmed that Morgan was arrested at 3:40 p.m. Sunday in Deer Park for possession of marijuana and a controlled substance. He was released on $100 bail with an arraignment date to be set later.

Morgan claimed he was only let out because he “kept bitchin’ to the point where they gave in.”

“I was screaming in my cell that this was overboard,” he said.

He explained that he was arrested while “smoking a marijuana pen in a golf parking lot” and claimed that “everywhere I go, people like to follow me, the cops like to harass me.”

“Everywhere I go I get f–king busted,” he complained. “This is the seventh time I’ve been caught with pot in f–king three years and I’m tired of it.

“For a depressed little midget like me … I told them that’s all I have to make me happy and that gets taken away from me,” he said, again complaining about his lack of luck with women.

“Some f–kface who’s got a miserable life has to go and call the cops.

“I was flipping my s–t. Flippin’ my f–king shit!”

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