It must take a hell of a clog to drive a man to theft. The suspect pictured above broke into the basement of a Fordham Heights apartment building and swiped a pipe-cleaning machine, authorities said. He sneaked into the building on Valentine Avenue near East 182nd Street at about 4:30 a.m. on May 30, took an elevator down to the basement and slipped into the super’s storage room, cops said. He then grabbed the pipe cleaner and hightailed it out of the building, police said.

A gunman fatally shot one man and wounded another on a street in Parkchester early Thursday, ­authorities said. Daquan Cooper, 23, was walking along Unionport Road near Archer Road at about 2:30 a.m. when the gunman opened fire, striking Cooper once in the head, cops said. The Van Nest resident was pronounced dead at the scene. A 35-year-old man was shot in both legs and was in stable condition at Jacobi Medical Center, police said. Investigators did not immediately identify a suspect or motive in the attack. Police sources said Cooper had 23 prior arrests.

A pack of thieves made a dash for freedom with stolen sneakers on their feet in a Bushwick shoe-store rip-off, authorities said. The group of approximately 10 men walked into the Foot Locker outlet on Broadway near Flushing Avenue at noon on June 9 and began trying on a variety of sneakers. With crisp, new kicks on their feet, the shoe thieves quickly made a break for the exit, grabbing several backpacks and assorted clothing items on the way out, cops said. Surveillance cameras captured images of six suspects.

Investigators released surveillance images of two not-so-good Samaritans who retrieved a dropped iPhone from the tracks of a lower Manhattan subway station only to run off with the device. The 20-year-old victim was standing on the platform of the Bowling Green 4/5 station at about 3:25 p.m. on April 29 when the phone slipped from his hands to the tracks. He went to report the fumble to an MTA worker, and returned to find a man jumping onto the tracks to grab the phone, police said. When the victim asked the apparently kindhearted stranger for the device, the suspect’s pal punched him in the chest, and the thieves dashed out of the station.

Port Authority cops came to the rescue of a suicidal man threatening to jump from the George Washington Bridge Thursday, an agency spokesman said. PAPD officers spotted the 42-year-old man staring over a railing on the south side of the span at about 11:30 a.m., officials said. The cops closed in when the distraught man expressed suicidal intentions, and were able to take him in without further incident. The man, a Connecticut resident whose identity was withheld, was taken to an area hospital for evaluation.

A thief swiped a man’s motorcycle off a street in Battery Park City, police sources said. The 32-year-old victim parked his blue 2008 Yamaha at South End Avenue and Albany Street at about 3 p.m. on June 16. When he returned to the scene later, the Yahama was gone, sources said.

Officials have ruled the stabbing death of a man in his Astoria apartment last week a homicide. A visiting friend found the body of Enver ­Julevic, 54, with multiple stab wounds to the torso in his home on 12th Street near 31st Avenue at approximately 6:20 a.m. on June 20, cops said. First responders pronounced Julevic dead at the scene. It was not immediately clear how much time had passed between Julevic’s murder and the discovery of his body, and no suspects have been identified.

An allegedly inebriated off-duty correction officer was arrested after ramming two parked cars in Ridgewood and continuing on his way, authorities said. Kareem Kuylen, 28, was driving a Lexus near ­Cooper and Wyckoff avenues at about 9:10 p.m. Wednesday when he sideswiped the cars and kept going, police said. The owners of both vehicles witnessed the collision and called cops, who quickly pulled him over. Kuylen failed a field sobriety test and was taken into custody on charges of DWI and leaving the scene of an accident, authorities said.