An elderly Toronto couple foiled a home intruder by using their bare hands and a tea kettle.

The boiling-mad couple pummeled Douglas Halversen, 28, and repeatedly socked him in the back with a metal tea kettle after he allegedly burst into their home and began robbing the place.

They also shoved Halversen down the stairs. The suspect was nabbed by cops after fleeing the home.

A Texas man’s artwork has gone to the toilet – the toilet-seat lid, that is!

Retired plumber Barney Smith has been creating works of art on the lids for the past 32 years.

Smith, 82, has produced 677 of the fanciful seats, which now pack his Toilet Seat Art Museum in the garage of his San Antonio home.

Flushed with pride, Smith said he gets about 1,000 visitors each year.

Indianapolis cops arrested a woman and impounded her boyfriend’s car because the image of a nude dancer painted on the vehicle was visible to children.

Erica Meredith was charged with disseminating matter harmful to minors. She was arrested after cops pulled her over for driving with a broken taillight.

The painting depicts a naked woman hanging onto a pole as two male patrons watch in delight.

Two Montreal schoolgirls have been expelled from school after they were busted charging boys money to watch them smooch in the school cafeteria.

The 12-year-old girls charged boys $5 to watch them lock lips during one lunch hour.

The students got the idea after watching pop superstars Britney Spears and Madonna make out during last year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

A Spanish court has been given a $2,400 safe to ensure the divorce papers of the country’s would-be queen don’t fall into the wrong hands.

The Justice Department of the Madrid regional government bought the massive safe after a judge complained there was no secure place to store the divorce papers of Letizia Ortiz.

Ortiz is the fiancée of crown heir Prince Felipe.