They’re some real gouda fellas.

A crew of Uzbek wannabe mobsters allegedly pocketed $4.5 million of high-end cheese, cigarettes and other goodies from warehouses across the Northeast — in a scheme straight out of “Goodfellas,” law enforcement officials said Wednesday.

Alleged leader Murodullo “Murad” Khasanov and seven of his cronies were hit with a sweeping conspiracy and grand larceny indictment in Manhattan after a long-running probe that uncovered at least six cargo thefts.

Instead of using the mob’s old-school stickup playbook, the knockoff gangsters used modern technology – hacking into computers and creating a forged paper trail – to fraudulently land hauls without ever needing to point a gun, prosecutors said.

Profits from the stolen goods – which included 25,000 pounds of purloined parmesan, pecorino and Manchego cheeses – allegedly helped Khasanov and his partners live the highlife in ocean-view digs in Brighton Beach and Coney Island, Brooklyn, driving luxury cars and flashing wads of cash at clubs, sources said.

“These guys acted like they watched every mob movie ever made and emulated American gangsters – the Hollywood version,” one law enforcement source said.

“The great American dream, Cosa Nostra style.”

Cops busted a “surprised” Khasanov early Wednesday after raiding his glamorous Surf Avenue high-rise apartment – which boasts a balcony overlooking the slightly less posh Coney Island Boardwalk and Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs flagship – and seizing boxes of records, a computer and phones, sources said.

A downcast Khasanov – along with alleged accomplices Nodir Kobilov and Aleksey Vorobyev – was arraigned later on the charges stemming from the joint probe by the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office, Port Authority police and the NYPD.

The five other alleged thieves have variously been busted previously in the probe, are being held by federal immigration agents or face warrants for their arrests, records show.

Khasanov and his alleged crew entered the US illegally during the Biden administration, and do not speak English, one law enforcement source said.

“These guys can’t speak English … but they are right out of central casting,” the source said.

The ring’s six alleged heists between October 2025 and April hauled in, according to court papers:

The wiseguy poseurs worked with an unnamed organized crime syndicate to infiltrate the day-to-day shipping process by impersonating legitimate trucking carriers and winning shipment bids, court documents state.

The syndicate would fraudulently score information for specific shipments, while Khasanov would pass along falsified documents to his driver pals, according to the documents.

The drivers would then show up to pickups in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Virginia, pose as carriers and make off with the shipments, prosecutors alleged.

“What is very disturbing here is that the victims, the owners of the goods and the legitimate shipping companies had no idea this was occurring until the damage is done,” Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg said at a press conference announcing the busts.

“We believe at least some of the food was meant for grocery stores, like a Costco for example. When food orders go missing and shelves are empty, prices go up.”

The stolen goods were ultimately diverted to New York City, where Khasanov and others would sell them on the black market – or at least try to, court papers allege.

A breathtaking cache of stolen cigarettes originally headed to Tennessee ended up in a Bronx warehouse, where NYPD and Bronx district attorney’s investigators confiscated them in April while serving a search warrant, court papers state.

A trail of evidence – from WhatsApp messages to shipping bills to photographs – all ultimately led to Khasanov and his gang, the papers state.

Several incriminating pics showed Khasanov load looted lamb into his 2025 Range Rover, negotiate the sale of stolen copper at a Brooklyn scrap yard and stand outside the Bronx warehouse filled with pinched cigarettes, according to the docs.

Kobilov and Vorobyev pleaded not guilty during the arraignment and were given supervised release.

But prosecutors argued that Khasanov, who also pleaded not guilty, should be held on $1.5 million cash bail.

His attorney Michael Stanley Mandel tried to downplay his criminal problems, including an Interpol “red-notice” from Uzbekistan, where he’s wanted for fraud.

Mandel’s spiel faltered when he said Khasanov “works in the food sale business,” to which the entire courtroom laughed.

Khasanov was ultimately ordered held behind bars pending a June 11 hearing about his bail application.