The Post has a new headline writer.

In a sketch on Conan O’Brien’s talk show last night, Mayor Bloomberg was asked to write some hypothetical headlines for New York’s favorite newspaper.

O’Brien described to Bloomberg an incident where Al Pacino got into a fight at a Starbucks. “Fra-pacino Fracas,” Hizzoner responded. Another “story” was about a famous rapper somehow injuring an Australian dog. “Diddy in doghouse over dingo damage,” Bloomberg said.