My forever friend Val Kilmer — this week’s People magazine cover — and I phoned and e-mailed one another. When his speech hobbled someone stepped in. His story is now Amazon’s top streaming documentary.
Val: “It was well received in Cannes. I hope this continues and I possibly get an award for it. Right now, I’m grateful at the response from peers like Hugh Jackman, Sean Penn, Leonardo DiCaprio who came out on Twitter praising it. Look, I have endless energy. My movie on Mark Twain is out, as is my 24-page poetry book and ‘I’m Your Huckleberry.’
“I have endless energy. Who knows if I’ll win — but I’ll attend wearing a Gucci custom suit as always, plus my funky shoes.
“I miss you and New York. And taking you to lunch and dinner. I remember coming to your home in shorts then having to run to Bloomingdale’s to buy a suit so we could go to dinner.”
Hamm-er time
Jon Hamm’s reuniting with “30 Rock”er Tina Fey and “Mad Men” co-star John Slattery. “Maggie Moore(s)” is set in an Arizona desert town where nothing happens until Hamm’s zapped by back-to-back murders. I mean, really, that kind of thing is so rude. He’s gift-wrapped as “a lifetime schemer with a personality as greasy as his hair.” It’s called a crime comedy. Why killing and maiming is a bunch of laughs, who knows. Those smarter than I — those paltry few — say crime comedies are now “in.”
Happening in the Hamps
Hamptons. While bodies in bikinis narrower than adhesive tape watched dolphins off shore in Amagansett, Alec Baldwin — who has a platoon-sized family — split the beach with three of his boys, insisting too much sand all over Leo’s body. He and the missus dusted him off and, possibly, announced their seventh kid . . . Hampton Sheet September issue says NFL Hall-of-Famer big-time golfer Lawrence Taylor once showed late to a Giants game. Why? “Because,” he says, “A slow foursome was playing ahead of me” . . . Since Rudolph Valentino and Natacha Rambova shared their first East End bagel, Andrew Saffir’s organized, booked, catered and invited for every film screening in the Hamps. Enough already. He says: “I’m rinsing the chlorine and sand off, and taking my suntan back to the city! Safe, vaccinated and hopefully all is screening on the big screen come fall. Also, shove East End’s alfalfa and crabgrass finger food. Call the Second Avenue Deli. Let’s have movies with Chicken in the Pot, coleslaw, gefilte fish and macaroni salad.”
He’s back, maybe
Suppose a woman craves a man to make love to her — but he’s leery. Or weary. Dare or scare, forget it. There’s always ways. Same exists for another overarching pull. Politics. Its release is election. Word now seeps out that Donald will make another try. Today’s news is the trigger. Afghanistan. Our border. Crime. China. Russia. The Middle East. CV. Terrorism. America’s erosion. Biden’s inability. Biden’s son. No kan do Kamala. Impossibility this frail White House can stem the loss of America’s power. Or values. Or re-polish America’s honor. Yes, pitfalls exist dealing with the man’s personality. An awareness of the Left’s ensuing hatred and anger. This race, you’re told, is about restoring our country. A country he — and we — loves. And are losing. His team may not include Jared and Ivanka, but within months the country could hear the announcement Trump is ready to fight to take back the God Bless-us United States of America.
A group of Broadway actors was crossing 46th and 7th. One Hollywood blonde with them had cleavage down to here while her hips were on fast forward.
“We should all pray for that woman,” whispered one of the theater’s leading men. Another replied: “I actually have — but she still prefers her husband.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
