(JJ/bauergriffinonline.com)

(JJ/bauergriffinonline.com)

What a “phone”-y fish story — except it really happened.

Pop star Shakira is seen here chilling with a colony of peaceful penguins yesterday — just hours after blogging about a harrowing smackdown with a hungry sea lion.

The “Hips Don’t Lie” singer wrote an unintentionally hilarious “Special Report: Attacked by a Sea Lion” for her fans on Facebook while on a sightseeing trip in South Africa at the Cape of Good Hope.

“This afternoon I happened to see some sea lions and seals. I thought to myself how cute they were so I decided to get a bit closer than all of the other tourists and went down to a rock trying to pet them doing a baby talk while taking pictures . . .

“Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me. Everyone there screamed, including me.”

The Colombian songstress thought she was sushi.

“I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast,” she recalled.

She posted photos of the sea lion and the small cut on her hand from scrambling up the rock face.

The 35-year-old singer admitted it was an inadvertent case of bait and switch.

“I believe what happened is that it confused the shiny reflection of the BlackBerry I was taking these pics with, with some sort of fish. It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it. Wow!

“It’s funny that only half an hour before I was complaining to my guide Andrew that I never get to see wild animals up close on adventurous trips.

“Oh well, I can’t say that anymore!!”