Officials in Washington state have bought a gigantic shrink-wrap machine – to use for human bodies in case of a catastrophe.

“You know, it’s neat, but it’s kind of creepy,” said Bette Shultz, an emergency management coordinator. “It’s one of those things you spend a lot of money for and hope you never have to use it.”

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Charles Henry had an unusual defense when cops busted him for allegedly pulling his car up to four teens, exposing himself and masturbating – they shouldn’t have watched.

Henry, 20, claimed “it was their responsibility to look away,” cops in Fairbanks, Alaska, said.

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A goldfish survived a fire that gutted his owner’s home in London.

Dean Ingram-Brown, 32, tried desperately to get into his blazing apartment to get his pet, but was driven back by flames. But 30 minutes later, a fireman walked out of the devastated building carrying the unharmed fish in a cup.

“Firemen told me he didn’t have a chance. I couldn’t believe it when he made it,” said Dean.

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An Australian doctor has given himself an unusual 80th-birthday present – the words “Do not resuscitate” tattooed across his chest.

Dr. Albert Cutter of Newcastle said, “If I was brain dead, I wouldn’t want to be a drag on society.”

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If you see more folks spinning their heads around and vomiting, don’t be surprised – the Catholic Church says it’s facing a shortage of qualified exorcists.

So the Vatican has launched an eight-week study for priests on how to distinguish and fight demonic possession.

“When you’re dealing with a reality like the devil, you can’t just learn the theoretical. You need the pragmatic experience,” the Rev. Clement Machado told the L.A. Times.