File this under Stupid Bank Robber tricks.

Cops in Chicago say Randy Washington, 24, phoned a talk show on radio station WFIE to brag about how he and five pals had entered a bank, tied up the tellers and fled with a wad of cash.

But bank workers heard the call-in, recognized details of the crime and called cops, who traced the call to the man’s cellphone and arrested him.

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A Florida man tried to bribe a cop – with cheeseburgers!

Marathon Deputy Mark Eastly recounted that Steven Denton, 24, who was charged in a bar brawl, said “if I would drive him to McDonald’s, he would buy me two cheeseburgers if I let him go and did not take him to jail.”

Denton now faces additional charges. Gee, maybe if he’d thrown in fries . . .

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Jack William Pacheco has more copies of this week’s edition of the Chowchilla News than he’ll ever need – 600 to be exact.

Pacheco, 35, made a mad dash around the California town buying up every copy he could to cover up the story of his arrest for alleged methamphetamine possession.

“I have a whole garage full of newspapers,” he admitted. “It’s an embarrassment to my family. It’s an embarrassment to me.” Expensive, too.

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Need a good excuse to dump your lover?

A new Dutch dating site says the surefire way for women to have their men run for the hills is to tell them they want a baby.

And men can have their girlfriends flying out the door by buying them underwear that’s too big, the site says.

Too mean? Then there are also two downloadable documents: one a curt, business-style letter, the other a scathing poem – to end relationships in writing.

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Gordon Sherring, 57, is suing former lover Suzanne Chapman, 51, over a collection of adult mags and sex videos he left behind at her home in Sussex, England, when the two split.

Chapman says she burned it all, but Sherring wants $7,000 in compensation, saying the X-rated stash had “sentimental value.”