Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he didn’t know jaywalking was illegal.

But the owners of that chicken, Linc and Helena Moore, sure do – cops in Johannesburg, Calif., issued them a ticket after one of their birds got loose and caused a traffic jam.

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A new chili sauce hitting the market this week is so hot that it can hurt you.

Ultra-concentrated “16 Million Reserve” is 30 times more potent than the spiciest pepper and 8,000 times more fiery than Tabasco.

Diners requesting it must sign a disclaimer recommending “protective gloves and eye wear.”

“It’s like having your tongue hit with a hammer,” said creator Blair Lazar of New Jersey.

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Britain’s Defense Ministry paid an ex-soldier $4,300 for lessons on becoming an erotic dancer.

Officials say they compensated Stephanie Hulme, 23, to learn how to bump and grind because they have a duty to help troops return to civilian life.

But Patrick Mercer, a Conservative Party member, said, “While I’m sure Senior Aircraftwoman Hulme will be able to pursue a successful short-term career as a pole dancer, I suspect this particular training will not equip her into middle age.”

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You may want to take out a loan when ordering shark fin soup at the Kai Restaurant in London – it costs $203 a bowl.

The Buddha Jumps Over the Wall dish must be ordered five days in advance, and the ingredients – shark fin, Japanese flower mushroom, sea cucumber, dried scallops, chicken, ham, pork, and ginseng – are cooked in four separate dishes for up to seven hours each.

“It is worth the money because if you were trying to prepare this dish with ingredients you bought yourself, it would cost pretty much the same,” said owner Bernard Yeoh. “It is not a dish with a high mark-up.”

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A German scientist claims to have eaten nothing for four years – existing completely on sunlight and water mixed with fruit juice.

“I can’t really explain what is happening on a scientific level in my case, but perhaps just a little bit of faith is all that is needed,” said cancer researcher Dr. Michael Werner.