Teach your children well – and wait till they’re old enough to drive.

A woman allowed her 11-year-old son to drive the family’s minivan to his elementary school on the South Side of Chicago, where he crashed the vehicle near a group of kids.

No one was hurt, but the youngster was expelled, and both he and his dopey mom were ordered to traffic court.

Anxieties over the anthrax mail scare of 2001-2002 will linger a long time, apparently.

In Lincoln, Neb., 600 employees of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services building were evacuated when employees found a small amount of white powder, about as much as a pinch of salt, in a file room.

The incident went from minor to major when several employees began complaining of scratchy throats and watery eyes. Nine people went to the hospital.

A lab determined the powder was deodorant, which may flecked off file-room employees.

How much would you pay for air breathed by a Hollywood superstar?

“Be the first to own this jar of celebrity air, which may contain air molecules that came in direct contact with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!!” reads the seller’s announcement on online auctioneer eBay.

As of yesterday afternoon, the jar had more 100 bids, with an unverified top offer of $400,700.

A bar of soap purportedly created with fat pumped from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has gone on display in Basel, Switzerland.

Gianni Motti, the artist who created the wacky toiletry, claims to have gotten the fat from an employee at a plastic-surgery clinic in Lugano, Switzerland.

Fire investigators in Kobe, Japan, have determined the cause of a blaze that tore through a home in January: Cat urine.

The homeowner’s two kittens relieved themselves on a fax machine – soaking the electric printing mechanism, causing a short circuit, and sparking a fire that damaged the kitchen and living room.