A parent who escorted a group of St. Louis fourth-graders on a school trip may have looked like a mom – but he was actually a cross-dressing dad.

While the kids had no problem with their transvestite guardian, parents at the Castlio Elementary School were up in arms.

But Jeff Wunrow of Promo, a civil-rights group, defended the dad, saying, “Not all men grow up to be cowboys and construction workers.”

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A well-to-do California lawyer has been renting out his posh, $1 million home for porn shoots.

Since August, eight XXX films have been shot at Marc Smith’s Tarzana estate, prompting irate neighbors to draw their blinds and lock in their kids.

The mother of one 10-year-old girl said, “I had to explain to her what a porn movie was. She said she didn’t know they made movies like that.”

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Get Nick Marshall some Pepto-Bismol – quick.

The 41-year-old Brit wolfed down 27 meatballs in a minute to set a new world record while smashing his previous personal best of 17.

“I have always wanted to hold a record in the ‘Guinness Book,’ but I never thought it would be for something this quirky,” said Marshall.

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The Colombian military has a new weapon in its campaign to encourage defections from rebel groups – scantily clad women.

The army has printed thousands of pocket calendars featuring buxom young women in bikinis. The calendars urge the rebels to desert “and get the benefits.”

The new tactic has come under fire from peaceniks and feminists.

“With these acts, the army is demonstrating that in Colombia, women’s bodies are a war trophy,” said Gloria Cuartas.

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The award for messed-up mom of the month goes to Virginia Ramsey, who cops say sold her 3-month-old baby for $2,000 in cash to buy two Sony PlayStations, a VCR, groceries and clothes, and to pay off a traffic ticket.

Ramsey, 28, of Kent, Wash., allegedly told a neighbor the baby had been “getting on her nerves” and she was going to give him to a cousin.

The neighbor later noticed Ramsey had come into some money, no longer had the baby around, and had made a trip to a casino.