An April Fools’ Day joke backfired when a clothing-store clerk called her manager at home to say the shop was being robbed at gunpoint.

By the time Sitra Walker, 22, phoned back to shout, “April fools!” her manager had already dialed 911 – and four police cruisers were racing to the scene of the “crime.”

Cops in Columbus, Ohio, weren’t laughing, and busted Walker for inducing panic, a misdemeanor that could get her six months in jail. And, yes, she was fired.

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Michael Maxim was laid off from his job, but he couldn’t care less.

The day after he got the ax from the Parks Department in Fitchburg, Mass., Maxim scored a $1 million lottery win.

“I had to look at the ticket five or six times. I was just waiting for it to change in front of my eyes,” he said.

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Granny, a cow from Wisconsin, has set an udderly amazing record – she’s produced 429,132 pounds of milk in 17 years and is still churning it out.

That’s equal to 50,000 gallon jugs; 600,000 single-serve containers; or 42,913 pounds of cheese.

“She has good legs and feet and a functional udder and simply has a desire to milk,” said Dave Koepke, herd manager of the dairy farm in Oconomowoc, where Granny lives.

The previous record-holder for milk production in the United States, Breezewood Patsy Bar Pontiac, produced 425,769 pounds of milk in her lifetime.

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A Dutch former madam has set up a school for hookers to help them become so good at sex that they can retire early.

The Hanky Panky School, founded by Eléne Vis, shows prostitutes how to best present themselves and please their clients.

“You can teach women how to earn more money by becoming more attractive,” Vis said. “That was how Cinderella did it. The prince didn’t fall in love with her while she was wearing her working clothes.”

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The winner of an English Mother’s Day competition has a shocking secret: She used to be a he.

Karen Buckley, 43, won an evening out after her partner, Peter Keeffe, entered her name in the “Somebody Special” competition in Rochdale, England. But when her photo appeared in the paper, eagle-eyed readers realized that Karen was once a man called Tommy who had a sex-change operation four years ago.