Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall – until heartless thieves kidnapped him.

Cops say a 3-foot-high, 238-pound statue of the nursery-rhyme character, worth $20,000, was taken from its perch on a street in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Dave Kosley, of the outdoor art program that had put Humpty on display said, “I don’t see that anyone who has it would feel comfortable displaying it in their front room or back yard. It’s probably in a student house.”

Surgeons have carried out the world’s first human tongue transplant.

The 42-year-old recipient was in good condition yesterday after doctors in Vienna removed his tongue, which had a malignant tumor, and replaced it with a donor tongue.

The operation was a success but it’s too soon to know whether the man will regain full use of his mouth and be able to talk normally.

An Atlanta woman who swerved to the side of the road so she could park her pickup under an overpass to protect her sofa from the rain caused a 24-car pile-up.

Eleven people were injured – although, incredibly, her truck wasn’t touched. But she was charged with improper lane changing.

“We had a total of 24 vehicles at the end of it. It was a mess,” Sgt. Pat White said.

A pot-bellied pig stormed into a barn in Germany and went on a rampage, sinking its jaws into terrified cows before police marksmen blew it away.

“One cow died after being chased round the barn, and a second cow suffered bite wounds,” said Geldern police spokesman Dieter Brauers.

“We thought it might be infected with rabies because it was so aggressive.”

A sinkhole on a Florida couple’s property swallowed their 1983 Buick Regal and damaged a portion of their home.

Kenneth and Dorothy Van Gundy were unaware of the 20-by-20-foot hole until neighbor Bill Sharpe, who was walking his dog, spotted it and banged on their front door in North Tampa.

“I said, ‘Ken, you’ve got a hole in your front yard and your car is in it,’ ” Sharpe said.