A sleepy Peruvian got trapped in Spider-Man’s web when he nodded off watching the blockbuster – and got locked in the cinema.

Luis Guardia, 44, went to watch “Spider-Man” on its opening night in Lima, but fell asleep minutes into the movie, soon after seeing the crucial spider bite that turns a nerdy high-school student into a superhero.

Guardia was stuck inside until 7 a.m. yesterday, when the doors were unlocked. A sheepish Guardia said he would try to see the movie again. “But this time I’ll go with other people,” he said.

Here’s an accused drug dealer who’s high on chutzpah. He wants the judge and lawyers handling his case to pay him every time they use his name.

He claims he’s copyrighted its use and is owed royalties – $151 million worth to date. That’s $500,000 for each of the 302 times it’s been mentioned in court proceedings in East St. Louis, Ill.

The fellow’s name, by the way, is Frederick James. And officials at the U.S. Copyright Office say it’s not legally protected from being used by others.

If convicted of drug and weapons charges, James faces up to 20 years in prison – where the warden will get around the name-game by giving him a number.

This gal needs a Teflon-coated brain!

Kimberly Fennessey of Bryan, Texas, decided to see if a friend’s .22-caliber pistol worked, so she fired it at a frying pan.

The bullet ricocheted off the Teflon-coated pan and hit her in the head, above her right eye.

Police said she escaped with only minor injuries – the bullet didn’t penetrate her s

Three 13-year-old girls in Massillon, Ohio, sprayed their middle-school classroom and a coat with perfume, knowing their teacher had asthma and could suffer a severe allergic attack.

Fortunately, the teacher smelled trouble and fled before becoming ill.

Three weeks ago, two 16-year-old boys poured a laxative into a high-school teacher’s coffee thermos, making him slightly ill.

Misdemeanor charges have been filed against the youngsters involved in both incidents.