An Iowa woman tried to defend her hubby against indecent-exposure charges -by telling a jury his penis was too small to be seen by his alleged victim.

A female postal worker testified that she observed Doug Neece of Davenport reveal his genitalia from 35 feet away as he stood near his garage -but Neece’s wife, Sheila, said he isn’t endowed well enough to be “seen” from that distance.

The jury convicted Neece, 41, anyway, and he faces up to six years behind bars.

A Roman Catholic priest has refused to bless a health-food shop because he says it sells goods that can work as an aphrodisiac.

Father Salvatore Traina of Sicily said the store stocks incense that can increase sex drive.

“It would be against my vows. Some of the items on sale encourage a sexual activity which is against the church’s teachings,” he explained.

“Go before you go.”

That’s the slogan under consideration for a new campaign in Minneapolis to combat public urination. Furious with boozers who go in public after stumbling out of bars, officials have launched a $10,000 campaign warning them to use tavern restrooms before calling it a night, or face an $80 fine.

A Florida judge overseeing a rape case stunned the court by looking at a photo of the victim and commenting, “Why would he want to rape her? She doesn’t look like a day at the beach.”

Judge Gene Stephenson has since apologized, removed himself from the trial, and said of the 57-year-old woman, “I would just ask that she accept my apology. If she could find it in her heart to accept it, I’d appreciate it.”

The good news in Sweden is that perverts there are having less sex with children. The bad news is they’re having more sex with animals -and filming it, too.

Every year, between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults, the nation’s top veterinary agency says.

“We have seen an increase since 1999, when child pornography became illegal,” said spokesman Johan Beck-Friis.