A security screener pulled the Stupid Airport Worker Trick of the day when he laid down on a conveyer belt at Denver International and sent himself through the X-ray machine.

“I cannot ascribe any sort of motive to why anyone would do this,” said Mike Fierberg of the Transportation Security Administration, adding that the man has been disciplined for his dopey stunt.

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A ravenous hawk loose in a Home Depot warehouse is grossing out customers by savaging pigeons that live in the rafters and dropping their entrails on the floor.

The bloody antics of the bird, a Cooper’s hawk with a 3-foot wing span, have gotten mixed reviews at the Cleveland store.

“Some of the customers were upset. Some said it was the neatest thing they had ever seen,” said assistant manager Terry McGuire.

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Are they cops or kindergartners?

That’s the question they’re asking in Garfield, N.J., where several officers, bitter at a former police chief, stole a plaque commemorating him, brought it to a party and took turns urinating on it.

Then they hurled ex-Chief Alessi “Babe” Cimino’s plaque in the Passaic River.

Current Chief Thomas Lamantia is promising heads will roll.

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The sexy side of politics was bared yesterday when a female candidate running for a seat in the European Parliament announced her platform – in the nude.

Anettka Feher, 30, a TV hostess in Budapest, wore nothing but a smile and some jewelry as she went on Hungarian TV and asked viewers for support.

Aside from being a babe, “I am smart,” she insisted.

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A man walking the family dog in the Croatian countryside was nearly electrocuted when his pooch urinated on an electrified fence.

The pooch “stopped to take a leak and suddenly started whimpering and then collapsed. I reached down to stroke him and to see what was wrong, and was blasted off my feet,” said Malcolm Jones, 57.

Miraculously, master and pooch survived.