A thunderous four-hour sex session in the middle of the night got a man hauled into court for disturbing the peace.

The lover, identified only as Andreas G., produced “four hours of sex noises. What was I supposed to think? It was nothing but groaning and banging,” one neighbor told a judge in Berlin, Germany.

*

You can say one thing about the cops in Melbourne, Australia – they always get their hand.

A man who arrived at the hospital with his hand gone was saved when cops raced to a park miles away and sifted through the dirt to find the limb he had lost hours earlier during a bloody brawl. Doctors were able to reattach it.

*

A secret contest between two cops in a tiny Georgia town to see which one could write the most traffic tickets was bared when a judge overheard the winner boasting.

And now, Porterdale Police Officers Erin Cox and Frank Jackson have been asked to resign for their one-month blitz of 150 tickets in the community of 1,343.

*

A married minister was suspended after allegedly posting a nude photo of himself on a raunchy Internet dating site.

The Rev. Bob Locke, 41, pastor of St. Mary the Virgin Church in Essex, England, “may have been silly, but he has not been accused of a criminal act,” said church spokesman Philip Banks.

*

Lost may now be found under a new name.

Exasperated at having souvenir hunters steal their road sign, residents of Lost – population, less than two dozen – have changed the Scottish hamlet’s name to Lost Farm.

*

A Central Italian city is forcing pet owners to pamper their cats, dogs and birds and even show mercy to lobsters, under penalty of $600.

The bill, going into effect next week in Reggio Emilia, will even require canary owners to buy a significant other for their birds.

Dogs must be provided spacious dog houses in shady, sheltered locations.

And it will be illegal to throw live lobsters in boiling water.