Better hope Mike Carmichael never throws his baseball at you – because it weighs 1,300 pounds.

The Alexandria, Ind., man has been painting the ball for the past 27 years as it hangs in a shed behind his home, and it’s now more than 35 inches in diameter and has a 9.25-foot circumference due to more than 18,000 layers of paint.

His hobby has earned a proclamation from City Hall, but Carmichael insists, “I am not going to start any more baseballs.”

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James DiGiorgio just filmed a public-service announcement for a Christian anti-porn group, which is a bit strange – considering he’s the director of such adult classics as “Boobwatch” and “Lapdance.”

“It’s kind of like you stepped into an alternate reality,” said DiGiorgio, who produced the spot for the group founded by pastors from the Crossroads Christian Church and Fireproof Ministries in L.A.

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An Iowa man is suing the Polk County Jail for “humiliation and distress” after corrections officers set him free wearing only boxer shorts.

Actually, that’s all Halsey Wasson, 27, was wearing when he was hauled off to the slammer for allegedly threatening a cop.

Deputy Bill Vaughn said that, like any inmate, Wasson was offered clothes, but “we don’t make them put it on.”

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A man has become a tourist attraction in the Dominican Republic after admitting himself into a hospital – with a six-day erection.

Staffers at the hospital in Villa Gonzalez said nurses, doctors and members of the public turned up for a glimpse at Ignacio Cabrera’s predicament.

Specialists think Cabrera, 25, who denied taking sexual stimulants, may have suffered from a rare form of anemia that causes long-term erections.

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This cash really needs money laundering!

A train passenger in the Netherlands on his way to buy a new car unwittingly dumped $13,530 in cash down the toilet.

When cops went to look for the dough, which had been flushed out onto the tracks, they could find only about $3,000 because apparently, somebody didn’t mind getting their hands dirty.