After listening to testimony in a murder case, Baltimore jurors returned to the jury room to find that they were victims – a thief had snatched their cell phones and car keys.

“They were angry, hot, livid,” said lawyer Warren Brown, who was in the courtroom on another case. “Here they are, jurors in a murder case, and we can’t even trust the court to protect their belongings from thieves.”

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A new senior citizens center has opened – for dogs.

The just-opened San Clemente Dog Park in California caters only to pooches older than 91/4 years, or about 65 in “dog years.”

“Dogs are like kids. They like to roughhouse, but ask an 80-year-old if he likes to roughhouse. He may want to, but it’s not the same anymore,” said Gregg Lipanovich, an advocate for senior canines.

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Some people would call Michael Malik a rabid hunter – other folks would call him nuts.

The Michigan man wanted to hunt elk in New Mexico so badly, he bid $90,000 at an auction to get a hard-to-obtain license – one that costs state residents just $69

“I do like elk hunting,” the 50-year-old real-estate developer deadpanned.

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Some people use a computer to manage their companies. Dayn Riegel uses one to manage his cats – all 75 of them.

To keep tabs on his tabbies, Riegel, of Lawrenceville, Ga., has a file on each kitty, listing its name, age, weight, health needs, habits and date of adoption, so he never loses track of Noodle, Danzig, Fuzzy, Jackie, Squnk and pals.

“My friends know I’m eccentric,” he says.

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Here’s one way to solve the health-care crisis – a man has been told he’ll have to wait 192 years to get a mole removed from his face.

After trying to make an appointment, Robert Smith, 48, got a letter from Dewsbury District Hospital in Britain telling him he could come in for the minor procedure in 9,999 weeks.

Red-faced officials said the note was a goof, and “we are happy to confirm no one has ever had to wait 9,999 weeks.” But he will have to wait 17 weeks.