Never mind working on the pecs, guys – it’s your shoes that impress women!

Footwear outranks body and personality, according to a survey by the Mates condom company.

Four out of five women said shoes were what they looked for, and two out of three said style and cleanliness are important indicators of what a man is like both in and out of bed.

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Bet you didn’t know that those innocent-looking organs that make such beautiful music can be hazardous to your health.

Consider the case of Elex Pentorn Jr., 50, whose 200-pound organ somehow fell on top of him, trapping him for 10 days in his home in Sandusky, Ohio.

“You could see the organ’s indentation across his stomach,” said Jack Johnson who found Pentorn. He’s recovering.

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Carsten Royland was rebuilding an old wall in his house when a human skull suddenly fell out of the rubble.

At first, cops in Portland, Maine, thought Royland had stumbled across a murder victim – but now they believe the head is that of an American Indian, possibly dating back to the 1600s.

Nobody knows how it got there, but Royland is sure of one thing: “I don’t want the thing, man!”

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Kill my mom, but don’t you dare harm my TV!

That was the bizarre order from 17-year-old Carlos Chereza, who paid a hit man $2,000 to rub out his mother, but told him to make sure he didn’t shoot the television, cops in Fort Myers, Fla., say.

Luckily, the assassin turned out to be an undercover cop, and both mom and TV are doing fine.

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Is that a stethoscope in your pocket, Doc, or are you just happy to see me?

That’s the question folks in Holland might be asking now that a survey has revealed that more than 4 percent of Dutch male physicians admit having sexual contact with up to three patients each.

“We are not just talking about one-off incidents,” said sexologist Peter Leusink, who hopes his study will make the nation’s doctors realize their patients should be saying, “Ah,” not “Ooohhhhh!”