When Patrick Deuel wants to get weighed, he’s driven to a feed mill, where he stands on a scale designed for trucks carrying heavy loads of grain.

That’s because the 42-year-old former restaurant manager from Valentine, Neb., weighs a staggering 1,072 pounds – and that’s after having dropped 370 pounds since June.

“Swimming for me has always been a good way for me to lose weight,” says Deuel.

“But they can’t let me in the pool until they can get me out.”

A prankster has been sentenced to probation for ripping a man’s hairpiece off his head.

Paul Goudy, 25, admitted grabbing a wig from the head of Edward Floyd, who was dining at the Fisaga restaurant in Harrisburg, Pa., explaining he did it on a $100 dare.

Floyd, 60, was not amused. “It has literally affected my entire life, and for what?” he fumed. “What did I do?”

A Romanian man had his testicles ripped off by his wife because she believed he was having an affair.

Luckily for Aurica Marinescu, 50, surgeons were able to reattach his scrotum during a 10-hour operation.

“I wouldn’t have said she was a strong woman, but she was furious – and she seemed to have superhuman strength in her anger,” Marinescu said. “The pain was incredible.”

Is Alejandra Prieto’s latest exhibit really art – or is it barbecue fixings?

The Santiago, Chile, artist’s new pieces are all made of meat, including a scene from “Little Red Riding Hood” in which the wolf, whose ears are made out of bacon, is hiding under covers made of ham.

“Vegetarians are certainly not happy, but there are many others who like it,” she said.

A dopey pair of Brazilian car thieves started their life behind bars while still on the run when they hid in a cage in a Rio de Janeiro zoo.

Cops quickly found them cowering among a herd of deer and tapir.

“Apparently, police thought that the bandits were going to take the animals hostage, but, thank God, that did not happen,” a zoo staffer said. “They just wanted to hide.”