Cut a sad face on that jack o’ lantern – there’ll be no trick-or-treating, or Halloween festivities of any sort, for students in the Puyallup School District in Washington state.

School administrators don’t want to offend followers of the Wicca religion. As one official explained, “Witches with pointy noses are not respective symbols of the Wiccan religion.”

Guess they don’t want to stir up a witch’s brew-haha, errr, brouhaha.

Thou shalt not smuggle contraband!

A schoolteacher in upstate Syracuse has been charged with sneaking marijuana to her jailed husband – in a Bible.

The not-so-holy stash was discovered when a prison guard, curious about the Bible’s heavy perfume odor, poked at the Bible’s binding and watched as “a green leafy substance cascaded to the floor,” Onondaga County Jail officials said.

Speaking of stashes, a woman in Browns Mills, N.J., called police because she couldn’t find $50,000 she had buried in her back yard in 2001. She told them she feared it had been stolen.

After some poking around and digging, the cops uncovered a container stuffed with $50,000 in large bills.

Nice to have big, strong cops do your dirty work, isn’t it?

Parents in Bellevue, Neb., have raised a big stink about a music teacher they claim sprayed students with a deodorizer.

They want her fired for allegedly spritzing the kids and telling them they “smelled foul.”

But school officials refuse to boot the teacher – insisting she sprayed the classroom, not the kids, with Febreze.

What happened when the chicken crossed the railroad tracks in Swindon, England?

It was hit by a 125 mph express – fowling up rail service between Paddington and Swansea.

Seems the blindsided bird damaged a fuel line in the collision, forcing evacuation of the train.