There’s something missing in Houston – a severed human penis.

Cops say a 45-year-old woman cut off her 33-year-old boyfriend’s penis with a kitchen knife as he slept, discarded the organ, and won’t say where it is.

So far, a massive search by cops has failed to find it.

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Coeds at Idaho State University can breathe easy again – the school’s notorious “Panty Pervert” has finally been nabbed.

The suspect is a 44-year-old man who police said would break into the student laundry at the Pocatello campus and swipe panties and other intimates from the dryers.

He even confessed at the time he was caught that he was wearing one of the stolen thongs.

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A judge has banned a Brazilian teen from having snacks in the shape of sex organs at his 16th birthday party.

The boy’s mom consulted the judge in Mossoro after a friend warned that she could get in trouble for serving the suggestive snacks.

Indeed, Judge Fatima Maria Lima said the mom could face two years in prison, adding, “Those sweets would even embarrass adults!”

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A Swiss men’s magazine is offering its readers free sex.

Okay mag said it was celebrating its 20th anniversary by giving readers “something that beats the free music CDs or posters that our rivals were offering,” with a coupon for a free trip to an “erotic studio.”

Magazine spokesman Pietro Attardo said of the controversial promotion, “I don’t know why the radio stations refused to carry the ad – every man wants free sex.”

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An 87-year-old Frenchman with a fear of being buried alive has designed a coffin with an alarm system, storage for food and water, and even a mini-bar.

Angel Hays said his phobia began at age 20 when a traffic accident left him so badly hurt, “that a coffin had even been delivered to my family’s house before I was able to move to let them know I was alive.

“I want to make sure nothing like that will happen again.”