Make West Virginia Gov. Bob Wise mad and he’s liable to kick your butt – literally.

That because the state’s top pol has just won his black belt in the martial art of tae kwon do.

“Governors are very competitive by nature,” quipped Peter Wiley of the National Governors Association.

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A Michigan woman tried to beat a drunken-driving rap by gulping down three glasses of Listerine mouthwash, authorities say.

But Carol Ries, 50, of Adrian was still found to have a blood-alcohol content more than three times the legal limit, cops said .

Still, she must have been minty fresh.

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A “career-day” speaker stunned students at a California middle school by telling them that strippers with boob jobs could earn as much as $250,000 a year.

Sales consultant William Fried advised kids at the Jane Lathrop Stanford School in Palo Alto that “for every two inches up there, it’s another $50,000.”

Some moms and dads balked, but Fried, 64, insists, “Eighth-grade kids can digest a lot more than their parents believe they can.”

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This guy ain’t worth spit as a criminal.

You can certainly say that about the 26-year-old jerk who made off with a truck that the driver had momentarily left with the motor running in Vancouver, Wash.

The thief started drinking from a cup he thought contained soda, only to realize it was actually the driver’s tobacco spit.

Choking, he pulled over to dial 911 for help, and was busted by cops.

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A Romanian man whose last name means “little penis” has given up trying to change it.

“I have gotten used to people laughing when they hear my name. I can live with it,” said Constantin Putica, 45, who got sick of the endless red tape surrounding a name change.

Putica’s got it no more difficult than some other folks – like those with the last name Muia, which means “oral sex,” or Coi, which means “testicle.”